If you haven't seen the TED talks from James Veitch on how he replies to spam, you are missing out.
I'll here a video where you'll be able to see what I am talking about, Well, I decided to do the same and it was a fun as the video that you just watched.Never reply to spam unless you are ready to have lots of fun.
And here is mine, enjoy:
How to annoy a scammer
From: patrick bradon mike <[email protected]>
Subject: Hello!!!
Hello this is Brandon Mike i would love to know if you do Web design and if you accept credit card? Kindly reply back if you do. Thank you
Regards,
Brandon.
From: Me
Subject: Re: Hello!!!
Hi Brandon, yes we do.
What can we do for you?
BTW you have a typo on your name or email… is it Bradon or Brandon?
And which one is your first name Patrick Brandon Mike?
Best regards
Ed.
MULTIMEDIA SOLUTIONS & CONSULTING
From: patrick bradon mike <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Hello!!!
Yes my first name is Patrick and the middle name is Brandon and the other name is Mike do i prefer you call me Brandon
I will like you to handle website design for a new company I have small scale business which i want to turn into large scale business now it located in CO and the company is based on importing and exporting of Clothing products. kindly bear with me I just had an ear surgery and I have been advised to stay off the phone till I'm fully recovered. That is why I am contacting you via email for now. But we can text each other if you are okay with that.
I will need your Company address, name and Cell Number also asap.
Regards,
Brandon.
From: Me
Subject: Re: Hello!!!
Hi Brandon,
I am terribly sorry to hear that, I hope you get better soon. What kind of surgery did you get? I have a friend who completely lost his earing from one side after a bad car accident, he went through several surgeries but he never recovered his earing. After a few years he committed suicide ☹ I really hope you get better. The world needs you!!!!!
Thank you for clarifying your name, BUT! I think you should fix your email, it is spelled bradon… not very professional. I can have someone help you create a new professional email for only $5 / month + domain registration $15 / year. So you can get [email protected] It will look sick! Your clients will love it.
BTW what is the name of your company. I’ll check the availability right away. Just send me your credit card information and we can started immediately.
I love your business proposition, let’s start ASAP. For the info you requested, all the information is located on our website, you must understand that I am the CEO of a multimillion dollar company and I can’t provide my personal cellphone. Once I gave it to Elon Musk and he wouldn’t stop calling me even after 10pm. But I am sure we can solve everything by email.
Just in case I need to say, I was involved in a fraud case in the Netherlands, one client was running phishing on his site and we got involved in the whole mess, so while it gets solved we cannot do any operations in that country.
Where are you located?
I look forward to hearing back from you.
Best regards
Ed.
MULTIMEDIA SOLUTIONS & CONSULTING
From: patrick bradon mike <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Hello!!!
Thanks for the mail I have small scale business which i want to turn into large scale business now like i said. I need you to checkout this site but I need something more perfect than this if possible, http://www.missrebel.co.uk.
The site would only be informational, so I need you to get back to me with an estimate for the web design, the estimate should include hosting and I want the site to have not more than 8 pages since it is informational. I have a private project graphic designer, he has the text content, images and the logos for the site.
Note:
1. I want only English language
2. I don't have a domain yet but I want the domain name as T.ladyswears.com or T.bankswears.com
3.You will be updating the site for me.
4. I will be proving the images, logos and content for the site.
5. I want the site up and running before ending of next month.
6. My budget is $2000 to $5000. Kindly get back to me with:
(1) An estimate
(2) Your full name
Best Regards,
Brandon.
From: Me
Subject: Re: Hello!!!
Hi Brandon,
I’m on it! All my contact information will be in the quote.
In order to open an account, I need the following so I can address the quote to your company:
- Full Name (unless you want to use the same)
- Email (unless you want to use the same)
- Business Name
- Full Address
- Telephone
To register the domain I will need your credit card information. You are serious about this right? I am so excited.
I can register both for $30 / year.
I do have a question, the sample site that you sent me has more than 8 pages.
Can you send me a catalog of your products to get a better idea? Just from the home page, products page and contact page you are reduced to 5 pages left. 1 page per product, unless you only have 5 products that you sell 8 pages won’t be enough.
Best regards
Ed.
MULTIMEDIA SOLUTIONS & CONSULTING
From: Me
Subject: Re: Hello!!!
Brandon!!!
I just got a fantastic deal. 2 domains for $15.99, we need to ACT FAST! This deals don’t last long.
Should I buy them for you?
Please send me your corporates’ CC ASAP.
We are going to make great things together!
Ed
MULTIMEDIA SOLUTIONS & CONSULTING
From: Me
Subject: Re: Hello!!!
Brandon!!!
Si everything ok? I didn’t hear back from you.
Let me know if we should move forward.
Ed
MULTIMEDIA SOLUTIONS & CONSULTING
From: Me
Subject: Re: Hello!!!
Man I am getting worried. I hope is not related to your ear.
Please give me signs of life.
Ed
MULTIMEDIA SOLUTIONS & CONSULTING
From: patrick bradon mike <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Hello!!!
FUCK OFF
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